- The essential stories behind the tunes -
(in among all the non-essential nonsense)

Bone Machine

(From EP1)

As before, here's me playing a section of the song...

(Click HERE to listen to the full song)

Initial Inspiration

When it comes to songs called Bone Machine, it’s safe to say that most music appreciators will think of the Pixies and not LC Pumpkin.

In case you’re wondering – yes, I did in fact take the song title from them, although not only from them...

One day after coming across Bone Machine by Tom Waits, I got the idea that every time I came across two songs with the same title I’d also have a go at making one up as well.

(Conceptually the idea fell at the first hurdle as it turned out Tom Waits didn’t write a song called Bone Machine after all, it was just the album title)

(Conceptually the idea fell at the first hurdle as it turned out Tom Waits didn’t write a song called Bone Machine after all, it was just the album title)

Some Firsts...

Although it wasn't the first song I made up, it was definitely the first one that seemed any good, and accordingly became the first I ever sang in public, rather than just in the shower.

The First LC Pumpkin Tune

I'd been performing a number of songs by the time I got hold of my sampling machine. However, when coming up with the idea of playing it with a cork via my banjo LC Pumpkin style, the first number I experimented with to see if it would work was Bone Machine.

Musically, the song's arrangement gets increasingly bombastic. This is because I got more and more carried away discovering what the sampler could do and the intoxicating new powers I now had at my fingertips.

Dog Food

Before all that, I was leader of the band Les Cactus & The Rumpy Pumpkins and, once again, Bone Machine was the first song we ever played together.

The Rumpys were a group which unintentionally specialised in transforming most songs we played into dog's dinners.

Below is probably one of our better live performances...

Bone Machine - Live!

by Les Cactus & The Rumpy Pumpkins

Fortunately we were largely rewarded for our failures as people assumed we were a crazy free-form experimental outfit rather than just a band who couldn't play music very well.

And while we're on the subject of dogs and live recordings...

I came across this early demo of me playing the song through my old funnel microphone which was evidently a bit too much for our dog Basil's poor ears:

John Peel Achievements

One of my earliest triumphs in life was having legendary DJ John Peel read out an email I sent in, and it was always an ambition to have him play one of my tunes on the radio.

Unfortunately it never happened as he died before I'd ever written any music.

However, the next best thing was to have his son Tom play Bone Machine by Les Cactus & The Rumpy Pumpkins on BBC 6 instead.

Click on the picture and spot the tune!

(He played the home recorded version which sounds a lot better than the live one above - it's amazing what you can achieve with modern editing software)

The radio exposure caused such massive ripples, I knew absolutely nothing about it until a year later when it was too late to hear a play-back of the show. It's a shame as I would have liked to have heard Kate swearing after her melodica solo on national radio.

The Words

The starting point for the lyrics were my girlfriend Kate's complaints about lying next to me during a period of my life when I was particularly thin and boney.

Here's a bit of background information:

Lung Collapse

After experiencing spontaneously collapsing lungs every now and then (in my case they only partially collapsed rather than being full-on deflations), I spent a year following an intense regime of breathing exercises devised by Soviet doctor Konstantin Pavlovich Buteyko.

It was hard work and pretty unpleasant on the whole. As for whether it helped, I'm not entirely sure. I had some interesting side-effects though, including a constant slow, dry nose bleed and significant weight loss.

Here are the lyrics:

You're a bone machine,
you poke me in the neck again.

Your limbs are like pistons.

You're a gristled muse,
your bones make a hollow tone.
Your rib cage plays like a xylophone.

Your constitution?
Nothing hits the sides.
What goes through your lips doesn't reach your thighs.

You're a bone machine,
stabbing my leg again.
Your limbs are like pistons.

Got pointed hips,
the tightest skin.
You're hard outside,
soft within.

Hard outside,
soft within.

As ever, thanks for reading.

- THE END -

- The essential stories behind the tunes -(in among all the non-essential nonsense)

Bone Machine

(From EP1)

As before, here's me playing a section of the song...

Initial Inspiration

When it comes to songs called Bone Machine, it’s safe to say that most music appreciators will think of the Pixies and not LC Pumpkin.

In case you’re wondering – yes, I did in fact take the song title from them, although not only from them...

In case you’re wondering – yes, I did in fact take the song title from them, although not only from them...

One day after coming across Bone Machine by Tom Waits, I got the idea that every time I came across two songs with the same title I’d also have a go at making one up as well.

(Conceptually the idea fell at the first hurdle as it turned out Tom Waits didn’t write a song called Bone Machine after all, it was just the album title)

(Conceptually the idea fell at the first hurdle as it turned out Tom Waits didn’t write a song called Bone Machine after all, it was just the album title)

Some Firsts...

Although it wasn't the first song I made up, it was definitely the first one that seemed any good, and accordingly became the first I ever sang in public, rather than just in the shower.

The First LC Pumpkin Tune

I'd been performing a number of songs by the time I got hold of my sampling machine. However, when coming up with the idea of playing it with a cork via my banjo LC Pumpkin style, the first number I experimented with to see if it would work was Bone Machine.

Musically, the song's arrangement gets increasingly bombastic. This is because I got more and more carried away discovering what the sampler could do and the intoxicating new powers I now had at my fingertips.

Dog Food

Before all that, I was leader of the band Les Cactus & The Rumpy Pumpkins and, once again, Bone Machine was the first song we ever played together.

The Rumpys were a group which unintentionally specialised in transforming most songs we played into dog's dinners.

Below is probably one of our better live performances...

Bone Machine - Live!

by Les Cactus & The Rumpy Pumpkins

Fortunately we were largely rewarded for our failures as people assumed we were a crazy free-form experimental outfit rather than just a band who couldn't play music very well.

And while we're on the subject of dogs and live recordings...

I came across this early demo of me playing the song through my old funnel microphone which was evidently a bit too much for our dog Basil's poor ears:

John Peel Achievements

One of my earliest triumphs in life was having legendary DJ John Peel read out an email I sent in, and it was always an ambition to have him play one of my tunes on the radio.

Unfortunately it never happened as he died before I'd ever written any music.

However, the next best thing was to have his son Tom play Bone Machine by Les Cactus & The Rumpy Pumpkins on BBC 6 instead.

Click on the picture and spot the tune!

(He played the home recorded version which sounds a lot better than the live one above - it's amazing what you can achieve with modern editing software)

The radio exposure caused such massive ripples, I knew absolutely nothing about it until a year later when it was too late to hear a play-back of the show. It's a shame as I would have liked to have heard Kate swearing after her melodica solo on national radio.

The Words

The starting point for the lyrics were my girlfriend Kate's complaints about lying next to me during a period of my life when I was particularly thin and boney.

Here's a bit of background information:

Lung Collapse

After experiencing spontaneously collapsing lungs every now and then (in my case they only partially collapsed rather than being full-on deflations), I spent a year following an intense regime of breathing exercises devised by Soviet doctor Konstantin Pavlovich Buteyko.

It was hard work and pretty unpleasant on the whole. As for whether it helped, I'm not entirely sure. I had some interesting side-effects though, including a constant slow, dry nose bleed and significant weight loss.

Here are the lyrics:

You're a bone machine,you poke me in the neck again.

Your limbs are like pistons.

You're a gristled muse,your bones make a hollow tone.Your rib cage plays like a xylophone.

Your constitution? Nothing hits the sides.What goes through your lips doesn't reach your thighs.

You're a bone machine,stabbing my leg again.Your limbs are like pistons.

Got pointed hips,the tightest skin.You're hard outside,soft within.

Hard outside,soft within.

As ever, thanks for reading.

- THE END -

- The essential stories behind the tunes -
(in among all the non-essential nonsense)

You're a bone machine,
you poke me in the neck again.

You're a gristled muse,
your bones make a hollow tone.
Your rib cage plays like a xylophone.

Your constitution?
Nothing hits the sides.
What goes through your lips doesn't reach your thighs.

You're a bone machine,
stabbing my leg again.
Your limbs are like pistons.

Got pointed hips,
the tightest skin.
You're hard outside,
soft within.

Hard outside,
soft within.